24 May 2006

Qatar: [F] Probation. Bolton: [A] Summa Cum Laude.

Upon observing and evaluating the work and performance of the following cadets at the United Nations, ًWe [I] the undersigned and the most judicious and exalted among all examiners decree the following:

Cadet Qatar: "has played a very counterproductive role so far as a member of the Security Council and has shown a mixture of weakness and submission which most people [we] did not expect. We feel that this is very unfortunate. We hope there will be a change in the behavior, in the attitude which [cadet] Qatar is showing."

Cadets Russia and China: We feel "dismayed and disappointed by their role, [they are] stalling and delaying [and not doing their assignments as they are told]"

Cadet Iran: a bully and a nuke pusher and should be severely punished to serve as an example for other bullies and nuke pushers.

Cadet Bolton: a secret member of [our] own team at the United Nations. [It was our secret but] "today the secret is out. We really are not just five diplomats [in the team]. We are at least six including John Bolton."

Master Sergeant USA: [Our] lead defender in the Security Council, using the veto power to kill critical resolutions.

Signed:

The most astute and glorious of all assessors and ambassadors:
Dan Gillerman
Ambassador of Israel to the United Nations

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