our war: the lighter side

Let me break the piercing silence here with a couple of jokes circulating around. Making up jokes in the face of adversity is a phenomenon for social scientists to analyze. I will not even venture there. Some of the humor is lost to the translation so I will try to translate those that are least affected. As with all local jokes, you may have to be familiar with the local politics to really appreciate the humor. Anyway here goes:

• Minister Nayla Mouawad has threatened the opposition forces that she would go on national TV without makeup if they do not withdraw their militia from the streets.

• The opposition demonstrators protested against the government, calling for its resignation, because it allowed the import of bad quality tires that do not produce very thick dark smoke when burnt.

• Carlos Edde forces have taken over the amusement park in Beirut.

• The opposition took over the ministry of education and forged a brevet certificate (grade 9) for minister Suleiman Franjieh.

• The Super Star singers (program on Future TV) have surrendered their places to Firqat el Wilaya (Hezbollah related choral group)

• Michel Mouawad is giving a press conference on Tiji channel (for children).

And if you come across more, feel free to add here.
Stay safe.

Israel: more like "shit onto the nations"

It is the smell of shit. Across the occupied West Bank, raw untreated sewage is pumped every day out of the Jewish settlements, along large metal pipes, straight onto Palestinian land. From there, it can enter the groundwater and the reservoirs, and become a poison.

Standing near one of these long, stinking brown-and-yellow rivers of waste recently, the local chief medical officer, Dr Bassam Said Nadi, explained to me: "Recently there were very heavy rains, and the shit started to flow into the reservoir that provides water for this whole area. I knew that if we didn't act, people would die. We had to alert everyone not to drink the water for over a week, and distribute bottles. We were lucky it was spotted. Next time..." more...

Talking about the "promise" 60 years ago of Israel that will be "a light unto the nations".

Sixty years ago in Palestine

Israel's first Prime Minister, David Ben-Gurion, wrote in 1937: "The Arabs will have to go, but one needs an opportune moment for making it happen, such as a war."

So, for when the moment arrived, he helped draw up Plan Dalit. It was – as Israeli historian Ilan Pappe puts it – "a detailed description of the methods to be used to forcibly evict the people: large-scale intimidation; and laying siege to and bombarding population centres".

In 1948, before the Arab armies invaded, this began to be implemented: some 800,000 people were ethnically cleansed, and Israel was built on the ruins. more...

Talking about the myth of "a land without people for a people without land".

impotent government and cluster bombs

Hasan Al-Muallem 13, his brother Hussein 15, Ahmed Zreik 11, his brothers Hussein 10 and Ali 12; these boys are the latest victims of the cluster bombs that were sprinkled over South Lebanon in August 2006 by the wounded, scared and fleeing Israeli Offensive Force.

Remember, the bombs that were supposed to be the seasoning on Bush's "New Middle East", making it more palatable?!
The same Bush who is still shoving his support into our government day in and day out.
The same government that is still nagging, whining and complaining day in and day out about not being able to govern.
The same government that is so intoxicated by Bush's support, it does not even blink an eye to the hurt and misery of its people.
The same government that blames its people for their misery, but demands their support.
The same government that is so busy NOT caring for the spikes in food and gasoline prices, it does NOT have time to clean the leftover cluster bomblets.
The same bomblets that have killed and maimed more that 300 since the ceasefire in August 2006.

But then it may be more feasible for Lebanese kids themselves to clean up the millions of leftover ordinance than to dream of a responsible government that is capable of providing them with a descent future.

They will never forget their homes

Assurances that they would be allowed to return after a fortnight were not honoured; weeks of exile turned into months, years. Despite several court rulings in the inhabitants' favour, the Israeli military prevented their return citing emergency regulations.

On Christmas Eve in 1951, army officers took some village elders to a nearby hill and they watched as the old stone houses were blown up with dynamite and tank fire, as many other Palestinian villages had been.

...it is hard for the former residents of Iqrit [an Arab Christian village vacated during the 1948-49 war] and their descendants to understand why the authorities block them - full Israeli citizens - from re-establishing their community in the village...

Why are the authorities blocking them? Because the authorities are Zionists, that's why!
story and photo credit

"shooting and crying"

He videotaped as his fellow troops scurried for cover from incoming fire, as ambulances bearing the wounded raced to the hospital, and as disenchantment grew over a misguided battle plan that left the soldiers feeling, as one tells Mozer's camera, like "somebody fooled us."

Wrote Griff Witte about Yariv Mozer, an Israeli reservist, who took along his video camera to the "2nd Lebanon War", summer 2006. An "embarrasing" war for Israel (to say the least) but which, as it seems, Israel will have relive through Mozer's film.

"two thirds of the ministers are thieves and donkeys"

“One third of the ministers are thieves, another third are donkeys …”
said the late prime minister Rafic Hariri about his cabinet.

This was disclosed by Rafik Khoury, editor in chief of Al Anwar, in an interview with Warde on VDL this morning.

To hell with protocols!

Many sleepless hours I suffered, wondering about the presence of elegant Ms Sisson at this graduation ceremony. But fortunately, Abu Stef comes to the rescue and clears my clouded mind. Ms Sisson was there because her government funded the ten-week-state-of-the-art-program-module to train 166 ISF members on sophisticated stuff like: modern police practices, administration, democratic policing, human rights, criminal investigations etc.

And next on the stylish and graceful Ms Sisson's agenda are:

• Attending the commemoration of thousands of Lebanese children and civilians massacred by IOF, because U.S. governments funded the ammo and the murderers.
  
• Attending the commemoration of the hundreds of civilian victims killed and maimed by the millions of cluster bomblets still lying around in large part of country, because U.S. governments funded the bombs and the killers.
• ...
  

Now I understand.
What a joke!

Protocol Please?

Does anyone know anything about the protocol governing such events? I mean shouldn't the ambassador be wearing "blue blazer of glory" too? And maybe a couple of medals? What about her hands, is that where they should be during the salute? Umm, just wondering! Is that how they do things back where she came from? Is Rice her mentor?

US DCM Sisson inspects ISF graduates with Achraf Rifi courtesy of Friday Lunch Club

Democratic power of a kiss

Rice has been quoted as saying:

"What's wrong with keeping the situation in Lebanon as it is?

Our priority is to keep Fouad Siniora as head of the democratically elected government...and that he acts according to the powers granted to him and the president

Even the issue of the next parliamentary elections (2009) is not a priority for us. We would welcome any formula that guarantees the extension of the current parliament's mandate..."

I knew it! It is the kiss! The out of this world, divine kiss that she got Summer 2006 from him! That magical moment that will last forever! The kiss that is burning an eternal flame! Can you blame her? She's a sucker for sensitive, poet and oud player dude.
Wait, here they come, I can now hear the chants of the other divine chorus: 7urriyeh, siyedeh, istiqlal!!
Hehee, what a joke!!